Every year, I coerce one of my houseplants into impersonating a Christmas tree, but this year, the Pilea peperomioides enthusiastically volunteered. The little plant wasn’t what I had in mind — I intended to conscript the bigger and more cone-shaped crown of thorns — but Pilea insisted:
“I’ll be perfect! My leaves are already just like those round glass ornaments!”
I answered that its species is sometimes called a money plant because its leaves are flat and round like coins, but Christmas ornaments are actually spherical.
“Christmas cookies are flat! And I’m Christmas green! An actual evergreen!”
Yes, I told it, it is green year-round, but that doesn’t mean it’s a conifer, and besides, it’s kind of small for the job.
“Presents will look bigger under me! If I can’t do this, I’ll drop all my leaves and be the Festivus Pole!”
So, I backed down. Here’s my tree. Merry Christmas.
Semiosis 